Sample Essay Area of Study Significance
Your area of study theme has been selected because of its significance for young people. Discuss why your area of study is particularly relevant for young people, making detailed reference to one prescribed text in your answer.
Relationships are a relevant area of study for young people as shown through Dead Poets Society (1989) by Peter Weir. This film displays many types of relationships, such as student-teacher relationships, which young people already have, aiding them in how to interacting with others. Dead Poets Society is set in Welton Academy in Vermont, 1959, and based on Montgomery Bell Academy in Nashville, Tennessee. It is a drama that has a central theme of relationships. (You have already made a notion to this) Relationships are a relevant topic for young people because relationships help them grow, are necessary to survive, and young people are the most interested in creating relationships.
It is necessary for young people, who are still learning, to grow into mature adults that are able to communicate with other people. One key ___ that is necessary for them to develop these skills, young people must have experienced many different types of relationships. (To develop, young people need to have experience many kinds of relationships.) Examples of relationships and how young people handle them in certain circumstances can be demonstrated by Dead Poets Society. The main characters experience student-teacher, family, romantic relationships as well as friendship. Due to these relationships, the boys undertake a coming of age. (An expression, you could easily have a specific here) They mature as their relationships help them understand that life isn’t always fair and that some relationships may end, others will strengthen. (Very philosophical, but you need to apply the text specifically) An example of this is when Mr Keating, the new English teacher, is fired. (colloquialism – need to avoid) This leads to one of the protagonists, Todd Anderson, to overcome his shyness and create a closer bond with the other boys who are part of the dead poets’ society. This is just one of the many reasons why relationships are relevant to young people.
The most important thing for humans to do is survive. To survive, no matter where you live or how old you are, you must establish relationships with others. (Just delete this)
Out of Earth’s population, young people are the most interested in relationships, compared to other age groups (e.g. young children). (This statement is quite broad and many would argue it false.) This is why it is extremely relevant to young people. It is believed that they interact with other people the most, as they are very curious and no longer shy of other people or trying new things. (this makes a big assumption) Therefore relationships to them are likely to be one of the most important things next to study and other things. In Dead Poets Society, as the new school year starts, many new friendships were already created. (When, where? Specifics needed here) This proves how significant relationships are to young people.
Ultimately, relationships are of great relevance to young people as it aids them in growing and maturing, surviving, and because they are interested in it. The film, Dead Poets Society, completely backs up these points as it displays the relationships of young people. Although the movie is centred around relationships, one of the most important morals to take from it is “carpe diem”. This basically means ‘to seize the day’ because no one knows when they are going to die. (A good philosophy, but has little to do with your argument.)
You show a willingness to build discussion which is very positive. You need to build this however, by using specifics and utilising evidence from the text. Essay structure is generally adhered to.
Specifics and evidence – quotes or detailed notes from scenes. Your argument needs more focus on how Dead Poet’s Society and its portrayal of relationships reflect those of young people. Way too much philosophy, and not a lot of it can be backed by evidence. Stick to the text and what it does – what the question asks.
Interpret the question before you write your response. That is, break it down into keywords and use this to identify what your answer is going to target. Then go step by step, think of an argument that will answer the question and evidence that will prove it.
Your response unfortunately does not answer the question. Your answer seems to entail more ‘why young people need to study relationships’ rather than why this text is relevant to it. There are some positives, though, and I would like to reinforce this.
You are willing to use discussion and philosophy which is necessary for English students. You need to work on honing this skill into something directly related to the text and this is a skill that requires a close examination of the question and its parts.
If it requires a detailed reference to the text, you need to refer to it often and specifically. Do that and your marks will elevate dramatically.