Sample Essay Speech Distinctively Visual
Why change the curriculum? Why change Distinctively Visual? Visuals are one of the main senses that bring life and experience to everyone. As one embraces the dichotomy of life, there is always a side that . However, social distress at the lack of freedom is another factor that contributes to the experiences one may have. As a current student under the Australian Curriculum I strongly believe this topic, “Distinctively Visual” will have a great impact on the following generation. To all of you seated in the National curriculum Panel what other great ways are there to portray the experiences and life in Australia that through the stories of Joe Wilson’s Courtship and The Loaded Dog by Henry Lawson. This topic is also portrayed through other mediums and one that depicts it clearly is the picture book, The Inventions of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick.
(Most of the comments here are just about simplifying and making stronger connections between the texts and Distinctively Visual. You also addressed the panel really well, good job!)
Lawson describes Australia with ‘child like’ innocence. This is an Australia where the interactions are distinctive by their mannerism and description. Their idea of courtship is one characterised as being ‘clueless’. Joe is depicted as a shy and sentimental character. He hasn’t had much experience with love and is new to the idea of courtship. Mary is also clearly depicted through Lawson’s vivid description. She is shown as a smart but demure lady who is also inexperienced with courtship. Mary is very aware of social conventions and is very traditional when coming to love, as she states, “I don’t think it right for a girl kiss a man unless she’s going to be his wife.” The way both characters are described shows their innocence and their new perception to life.
(Great discussion. Just add a little more direction to your first and last sentence. See comments.)
The theme courtship is universal and can be seen through the use of cyclical structure which brings closure to the story. The story starts with Joe stating, “The happiest time in a man’s life is when he’s courting a girl…” and ends with Mr Black “thinking of the days when I was courting Mrs Black.” This again reinforces the lack of freedom and social influence but also portrays the fairy tale like atmosphere, bringing people to life. The dialogue again shows awkwardness between Joe and Mary as he tries to be comfortable around her, “What is it Mary? Are you tired?” It allows the reader’s to show empathy towards them as their relationship is relatable to the audience. It gives context of the time period and their courtship appears to have a childlike innocence.
(Stick to the folk tale idea, it works really well. Try and make another connection to Distinctively Visual in your last line if possible.)
Similarly, in The Invention of Hugo Cabret the story shows the meaning of life and the influence of the society yet at the same time it creates a childlike sensation. Brian Selznick has used the ‘Clock’ as a motif, along with other distinctively visual features to portray his purpose. Hugo a twelve year old orphan is seen to be always winding clocks in this story. This is what he does best as his deceased father left an automaton. The automaton is also used as a motif as it emphasises the reason Hugo is living. He is like an automaton that is in need of repair and affection because he lives by himself within the Paris station walls. This story brings forth the connotation of an unloved orphan and is disregarded in the society which portrays the learning experience for Hugo.
(Good. Try and discuss how these ideas indicate Distinctively Visual based on aspect of the topic sentence you choose. In other words, do the clock and automaton motifs indicate the meaning of life through storytelling and visuals. How? Why?)
Selznick’s use of illustrations provides the reader’s another perception into the story. His illustrations and done in black and white with shades of grey. In a particular scene, Hugo and Isabelle his friend are in front of her godfather, George Melies’s door. An extreme close up shot of the two characters show the anxious looks in their eyes. This creates a suspenseful and mysterious atmosphere. The us of shading emphasises the darkness and lighting in Isabelle’s home. A single spotlight draws the reader’s attention to the middle of the page. The spotlight symbolises the hope that waits behind the closed door. This hope brings alive the fairy tale dream as it embraces the dichotomy of one’s life. This is very similar to Joe Wilson’s courtship in the scene of the fairy tale dreams.
(Try and link how the theme of hope and mysterious atmosphere tie into the importance of those images to the story. What do they add? Why are visuals important for creating these kinds of feelings?)
By contrast, The Loaded Dog introduces the readers to a more humorous side of life in the Australia outback which is very different to what is expressed in The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Lawson’s description of rural Australia can be seen through the portrayal of Tommy, the dog chasing Jim, Andy and Dave. Tommy is portrayed as a senseless dog, oblivious to the potential danger that may occur. Through its use of humour The Loaded dog creates an atmosphere which is rich and detailed. The simile, “Jim swung to a sapling and went up it like a native bear,” is one such example where the quality of description leads not only humorous storytelling but a detail about Australia life.
Although courtship is not shown, the friendship between Tommy and Jim is shown through the story. Lawson uses vivid description to describe Tommy and uses anthropomorphism, when “the dog grinned sardonically down on him,” which adds to the humour of the story. It gives Tommy more characteristics and shows enjoyment. It again reinforces the idea of life in the outback, as everything is unexpected and life can be spiced up with a little sense of stupidity.
(A killer blow here would be to tie both these aspects of ‘The Loaded Dog’ to the ideas within Distinctively visual. As in, why does the idea of life in the outback need visuals in order to come to life? Why is the Distinctively Visual important to chronicling the human experience?)
The visual dichotomy of life can be seen through both stories which Lawson has used many techniques to bring to. Selznick also has incorporated many visuals which brings life and experiences to the readers’ allowing them to understand the society at its time. What I’ve learnt in exploring these stories is that people aren’t just living for the sake of it but living for a reason, to experience and understand the surroundings which both Lawson and Selznick has conveyed through their stories.
(Good conclusion, but try to link them explicitly back to your earlier points.)
You have followed the suggestions really well. The structure you have used is excellent and your points are much stronger than when you started a few weeks ago.
See suggestions and comments, otherwise you have almost got a complete argument here!
Remember to keep it nice and simple and think about using the tone in your voice and pauses (if you have time) to bring out the full value of your text.
Overall, a really excellent job. The detail and discussion you have used is a little inconsistent in parts, so hopefully my input here can clear it up a little for you.
Remember to not try and overcomplicate. Always go back to the question when you’re in doubt about how your argument is progressing. Try and use keywords from the question where possible. Otherwise, I wish you the best of luck!
Note: The marking criteria below is not the one of your assignment, but shows aspects you did well and could show improvement in.